Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Your Key to Happiness

   I've heard it said that usually the biggest annoyance you have with your child/children is your own issues being mirrored back.  So true in this house.  Time must be one of my top "love languages".  If my husband spends more time on anything over me I feel he is choosing IT over me.  Even if I don't want anything from him!  Even if we've already spent time together.  I guess in my book, time equals heart.  I'm not sure this personality is clear when they are younger because they always have your time but two of my three older ones are like this.  I find myself having the same conversations with these two lately as I have with myself.

  Today my Caleb was very upset that after spending the whole morning with his older brother that Carter chose to talk on the phone with his cousin and hang out on the computer for awhile instead of continuing to be with him.  By dinner time they were back together but I know if Carter said he was done it would be heartache all over again.  In the afternoon Elijah came in crying because the kids outside were being mean and "not listening to me!!".  He was going to come inside and be alone and sad.  I shared with them both what a friend shared with me and has made such a difference; don't put your key to happiness in someone else's pocket.  So simple but so true.  I shared with Caleb he could not give Carter control of his whole day being good or bad based on how much time they spent together (note to self).  Later I shared with Elijah that choosing to be lonely and sad because someone was mean is the worst choice for HIM!  Again I told him not to let those big kids make his day sad!  HE gets to CHOOSE how to react and what to do.  My suggestion, go out and find something way more fun to do than what they were doing and pretty soon they'd be coming to him... and they did.

   I have to say I have little patience sometimes for this problem and can see how my husband  may feel. But as soon as I start to want to have a "give me a break" conversation with them I feel the Lord gently prick my heart and remind me how their heart is feeling at that time.  It usually works because I SO understand that hurt even though it annoys me that it's even a problem for them or me!  I do need to share this with my husband a bit more because lately I think it appears I'm overriding his decisions often.  I'm not trying to override just deal with a heart issue that doesn't always need discipline but some understanding. (Good thing he reads my blog!)  I do know we balance each other well though and sometimes they do just need to get over it (another note to self).

   I must say until recently I didn't quite understand this verse: 1 Timothy 2:15 Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.  I don't claim to be a Biblical scholar and maybe I'm way off on what this verse means but I think I have learned more about myself, my faults, my faith and my failings through my children than I have with anything else EVER.  And it ultimately leads me back to my Savior... where we all belong anyway. In the end they are an ever present reminder of my need to be saved!  Only our awesome God could create a relationship that is so hard and teaches so much but is filled with so much love you wouldn't ever give it up for the world!

With tearful joy I thank Him and praise Him.

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